If you have children who are now adults, you probably offer
them financial wisdom now and then. Or maybe you dole out advice on how they
could better manage their money every chance you get. If you thought you could
get away with it, perhaps you'd give your adult children a day-to-day calendar
full of your financial tips. Whatever your situation, if you want to give your
child financial advice, here's how to do it effectively.
Be thoughtful. If
your adult child is self-sufficient and doesn’t hit you up for money often, he
or she deserves the benefit of the doubt. After all, how your son or daughter
spends money isn't your business. But if you're feeling more like a bank than a
parent lately, you may want to make your opinions clear. Even so, a discussion,
not a diatribe, will probably yield the best result.
P.J. Wallin, an investment adviser, suggests talking about
your own finances. For instance, ask for your child’s advice regarding your investment portfolio or
recent career developments.
Be a friend, not a parent.
You've probably been told that your child needs you to be a parent and not a friend. But your child is now a grownup, so if you want
your advice taken seriously, try talking to your son or daughter as a peer.
Young adults may not know everything, but sometime they like
to act like they do. Treat them like a fellow adult you're having a candid
conversation with about our finances. They'll be much more receptive to your
advice.
Set a positive tone.
Simon Moore, a financial advisor and
chief investment officer at FutureAdvisor, believes the ‘feedback sandwich’ is
important, where you both lead and close with a positive comment or praise.
According to Moore, when having financial conversation with
your adult child, end the conversation with a subtle but positive finish. Your
child might see right through you, but you aren't likely to get into a heated
debate if you incorporate positive comments.
Be brief and
accurate. Again, you shouldn't lecture. Parents tend to ramble, and that's
not good for kids 40 and under who have grown up on technology, according to
Peter Fisher, a finance professor at Linfield College and a founder of Human
Investing. Fisher’s second point: Know
what you're talking about when offering career and financial advice.
Find a stand-in to
offer the same advice. Maybe you're not right for this particular role.
Your kids may typecast you as someone who deserves eye-rolling no matter what
you tell them.
If you keep striking out, bring in a pinch hitter. Michael
Gauthier, a certified financial planner, says he’s had a lot of success with
clients when they hold family meetings. That is, a family meeting with someone
who isn't a member of the family. You could enlist your accountant, a financial advisor, your
attorney, a trusted and neutral family friend or even member of the clergy.
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